A NEW RULE...

Oh yes, another new rule to add to our existing 30 Rules of the Buffet. I don't really believe myself that such a rule as this would ever have to be stated to anyone, but for some reason, some people just don't seem to have any common sense and can't figure out on their own that there are just somethings that just are not done. So here it is Rule #31.

31. Do not change a baby's dirty diaper on the table or on a chair at a table in a buffet restaurant.

Yes. We have watched this happen more than once. And these have not been tiny new borns, but babies several months old. I just can't understand how this would occur to anyone to do in a busy restaurant. We have seen it done on the middle of the table - with plates being eaten from on the table. We have seen it happen on a chair at the table. Just this past week we saw - while the table next to us was in the middle of their dinner, that the baby was put down on a chair and the dirty diaper taken off, put down on the chair, the baby's bottom wiped, the dirty wipe and the diaper held up to wrap them together and then lifted over the table to someone holding a bag open for the diaper to be tossed into - and this diaper just barely made it into the bag and not onto the top of the table. As this was going on in front of me - it was not possible to not see the whole thing, I happened to be eating meatloaf. I have to say that this put me right off continuing to eat that meatloaf! AND it is not that there was no place else to change the baby. This buffet has a baby changing station in both the men's and ladies' restrooms. And I suppose cleaning a baby's butt and then continuing with your meal without washing your hands - and then going up to the buffet table and picking up the serving spoons is OK for these people as well - but you know, it is not OK for anyone else!

So, friends and readers, over the years we have seen a lot of just ridiculous things at buffets from the people who dine at them, but this one may be at the top of the worst. Now, if you are thinking what a silly rule this is - I agree - such a thing should never be necessary to tell anyone. Everyone should know this on their own. But they don't. And if you think - "how picky a thing this new rule is" - then I want you to just think about it for a few minutes. You are eating your dinner and you look across to a baby's dirty diaper - open with all of its contents on the table next to you - and then think about the next people who will sit at that table. And then think that this may have happened at the table you are sitting at just before you sat down there to eat, right where you plate is now. Disgusting!

So here is Rule 31 taking its place with all of the rest of the Rules of the Buffet.

1. All you can eat is not a challenge. It is an offer!

2. There is no limit to the number of times that you can go up and get food.

3. Take your food in courses - as you would be served if ordering from a menu.

4. Everyone must pay!

5. No food is permitted to be taken out of the restaurant.

6. Take only what you will eat - do not waste food.

7. For a more social meal, it is polite to wait for the others at the table to finish their plates and then go up together to get more.

8. Take a clean plate every time that you go up to the buffet tables.

9. If you put it on your plate, leave it there. Never return food to the serving tray.

10. Never eat at the buffet tables!

11. Children under 12 should not be going up to the buffet tables alone.

12. The buffet table is not a cafeteria line.

13. Tip the server.

14. Never take a serving piece from one item and use it for another item.

15. Never place your dirty plates on someone else's table.

16. Never use your silverware to serve yourself from the buffet trays.

17. Once you have gotten what you want, don't stand around the buffet tables. Move on back to your table.

18. Children should remain seated through the meal.

19. Do not fill community plates for the "table". Each should take their own plate of what they wish to eat.

20. If you cough or sneeze into your hand, please do not use that hand to pick up the serving utensils.

21. In the buffet, as in any restaurant, children (and adults) should use their inside voices.

22. Don't talk on your cell phone while you are getting your food at the buffet tables.

23. Never bring an animal into the buffet. (this is not referring to medical guide dogs)

24. Never put your hands into a serving tray.

25. Tell your children not to put their hands into a serving tray - and make sure that they do not!

26. Do not carry on a conversation throughout dinner with the people at the tables around you.

27. Do not put anything back into a serving tray that has dropped onto the serving counter - and never put anything back into a serving tray (whether from the counter or your dish) with your fingers.

28. Never put the serving utensil, whether it a spoon, fork, or tongs, up to your nose to smell the food that you have taken out of the serving tray.

29. Do not eat while walking with your plate back to your table.

30. If you take a plate, bowl, cup, or piece of silverware and you decide you don't want it, do not put it back on the stack of clean dishes or back with the clean silverware. Take it back to your table or put it on the side of the stack where it will not be taken as clean.  

31. Do not change a baby's dirty diaper on a table or on a chair at a table in a buffet restaurant.